Ashley Adamson: A final word as Pac-12 Network goes dark

Guest column by Pac-12 Network studio host.

Ashley Adamson in Las Vegas during the final Pac-12 men’s basketball tournament. (Photo: Guy Haberman)

Ashley Adamson has been an on-air host for the Pac-12 Network since its launch in August 2012. Friday will be her last day. Adamson is one of 141 full-time Pac-12 conference and network employees laid off following the departure of 10 universities. The Pac-12 Network signal will go dark at midnight on June 30.

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BY ASHLEY ADAMSON

GUEST COLUMNIST

My dad was the first person who taught me to appreciate a difficult goodbye. 

Growing up, we lived in different states. He was in Colorado. My brother and I lived with our mom in Michigan. At the end of our visits, my Dad would drop us off on his way to the airport with the same words: 

“It’s OK to feel sad when we say goodbye. It’s just a reminder that the time we spent together really meant something.”

Friday is my last day at the Pac-12 Network. I’ve known this day was coming for nine months, which means I’ve gotten to say more than my fair share of meaningful goodbyes. And to be honest, when I sat down to write this guest commentary, I wasn’t sure I’d have much more to add.

There are many eloquent tributes celebrating the history of the Pac-12 Conference and its impact on college athletics. There are also plenty of retrospectives dissecting what ultimately led to its collapse. This open letter is not intended to do either of those things. Rather, it’s a personal acknowledgment of how much this league has changed my life.

To the Pac-12 student-athletes:

It has been a gift to get to know you and watch you compete these last 12 years. Thank you for sharing your passion and talents, and for trusting us with your stories.

When I look at where college athletics seems to be headed, there are many reasons to feel worried and anxious. But whenever I spend time with any of you, all I feel is hope and optimism. 

To the Pac-12 parents:

One of the best and most unexpected gifts of covering this conference was meeting so many of you. I love hearing you talk about your sons and daughters and am humbled by all the ways you show up for them. Thank you for raising such fine humans, and for sharing them with the Pac-12. 

A special shout out to the Pac-12 alum and mom who has become a sister. Lisa McCaffrey, you’re a podcast virtuoso and an even better friend. I will continue to pray for your college dropout son. I trust things will get better for him.

To the Pac-12 coaches:

You are superheroes. You will never get the credit you deserve for all you are asked to hold. I admire your commitment to helping young people get to places they couldn’t get to on their own.

Oregon women’s basketball coach Kelly Graves was the first non-family member to call me after everything fell apart on August 4. It will be my lifetime reminder of how important those immediate phone calls are, even when there’s not much to say.

The late Mike Leach taught me a lot, including where dairy comes from. He was also the shining example of living wholly, and unapologetically, as yourself. One of my biggest regrets from the last 12 years is that Leach and I never did that rollerblading feature together in Key West.

Former Washington coach Chris Petersen showed me that often the most courageous choice we can make is knowing when to stop. Utah’s Kyle Whittingham put on a masterclass on leadership through adversity, proving the power of brotherhood. 

Stanford great Tara VanDerveer proved to all of us that you can reach the mountain top, while simultaneously pulling up everyone around you.

To the unsung heroes of every Pac-12 athletic department:

You know who you are, and we all know none of this works without you. In an era of self-promotion, thank you for committing to the critical work that never shows up in the box score. 

To my Pac-12 colleagues: 

You are the best damn team I’ve ever been part of. 

Thank you for proving me wrong. Last August, I wondered how we could possibly hold it all together for 10 months. Once the reality of what was ahead settled in, I feared apathy or bitterness would seep in and impact the work. But instead of limping across the finish line, I watched a small but mighty group come together and show up in a whole new way. Thank you for leading with your hearts and leaning at the tape. 

My boss David Koppett always tells me it’s dangerous to start thanking people by name because you’ll forget someone. He’s right. But since I already broke that rule I’ll just say ‘thank you’ to David for trusting me to break some rules over the years. You believed in me as a storyteller and gave me opportunities that completely changed what I thought was possible for my career. 

Thank you to my first boss, Kristin Bredes, for taking a chance on a local news girl in Indianapolis. I didn’t have the chops or as much experience as the other talent knocking down your door. Yet you reached down and pulled me right onto this rocket ship. It changed the trajectory of my life. 

Mike Yam, standing next to you (August 15, 2012) as we welcomed everyone to the Pac-12 Network will forever be one of my most cherished memories. I always felt confident on set with you, no matter what chaos was happening around us. These days, I smile every time I see you on NFL Network because it reminds me that adversity brings unforeseen blessings, and opportunities to reinvent ourselves. 

Yogi Roth, thank you for being our guiding light and setting the standard. You gave an impromptu speech at the end of our annual football announcers’ call this year that was one of the best examples of leadership I’ve ever seen. You’re one hell of an analyst, but your impact on people extends far beyond the booth. 

J.B. Long, thanks for convincing me to do the Ickey Shuffle at the Cal spring game that one year, definitely built some character. Thank you for being an exceptional friend to me and an unbelievable godfather to my daughter. 

Nick Aliotti and Elise Woodward, I’m convinced we are related. You both have a special energy and love of life that feeds my soul every time I’m with you.

Mary Murphy, thank you for pouring yourself into Pac-12 women’s basketball in a way that made all of us better. Your north star was always the players and their families, and you did everything to make sure they got the shine they deserved. 

Tammy Blackburn, you taught me how to be a better friend. Whatever adversity comes my way in life, I hope I can handle it with a sliver of the strength and grace that you have shown throughout your breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.

It’s impossible for me to name every person who made up the heart and soul of this network without this turning into a 5,000-page manifesto. So, to all of my colleagues past and present —  just know that I would run through a wall for every last one of you. (Especially you, Ann Schatz).

To my family:

You are my life’s biggest blessing. 

To my parents Gary and Ann, and bonus parents Leigh, Pam, and Peter — the world would be a much better place if everyone could have the radical love, support, and real honesty each of you have given me.

And Mom — I’ve never thanked you enough for all you did for us growing up. You showed me how fierce independence and a great sense of humor can sustain people in difficult times. Thanks for never making it about us, even though I know it was always about us.

So much in life is about showing up, and no one shows up like my siblings. 

Ashley Adamson with her siblings at the Pac-12 basketball tournament.

Alex, Brittany, and Zach — thank you for dropping everything to be there for my final Pac-12 broadcast in Las Vegas. I didn’t realize how much I needed your sunshine (and sequins) at that moment.

My children, Collins and Cora — I am mostly writing this for you. One day I hope you’ll read it and understand what a privilege it is to truly love your work. I pray you both find your version of the Pac-12; everyone deserves to be a part of something that brings purpose and joy. You’ll know you found it when you’re motivated to work harder than you ever thought possible while also having the time of your life.

Above all, I hope you find a partner like I found in your dad. Because everything else will fall into place when you do. Chris, thanks for making it all possible. Every day I spend with you, I become a better version of myself. 

Last but certainly not least… to the fans:

You are the lifeblood of college athletics. Thank you for sharing your passion, in all its many forms. 

I was nervous to visit all the campuses this year for our annual football roadshow. It had the potential to be awkward and unpleasant. You made it warm and welcoming. I appreciated your kind words and encouragement, every single one meant more than you know. 

There will never be two universities I pull for more than Oregon State and Washington State. They did nothing to deserve the hand they’ve been dealt. 

But I truly believe you have the exact right person leading you through this. Commissioner Teresa Gould has the experience, acuity, and most importantly — the heart — to pull off something no one believes is possible. I’ll be cheering for her, and all of you, every single step of the way.

At times, I am asked about Larry Scott, the former Pac-12 commissioner who became the primary scapegoat for the demise of the league. My take is this: I have great appreciation for anyone who tries to do something that has never been done before. Scott’s vision to create the first conference-owned network was revolutionary. For many, many reasons, it never realized its full potential.

I won’t speak for Scott or any of my other colleagues, but I can tell you the weight of a beloved, 108-year-old conference imploding on our watch is something that will be with me forever. I will always be devastated by the unfulfilled potential of the Pac-12 Network. And yet, that doesn’t take away from the immeasurable pride I feel to have been a very small part of it.

Endings bring hope and new beginnings

My time at the Pac-12 helped me understand my role as a storyteller in a different light. I’m launching a new endeavor with Guy Haberman, my husband’s favorite Pac-12 broadcaster. Tamber is a legacy audio company founded on the core belief that our stories should live on forever. 

I’m also continuing my broadcasting career. As of July, I’ll be covering college football for the Big Ten Network. I look forward to sharing the stories of four schools I already know and love — Oregon, UCLA, USC, and Washington — and am thrilled to reconnect with the schools I grew up watching. As a kid, I lived a mile from ‘The Big House’ in Ann Arbor. It will be a serendipitous full-circle moment to cover my first game there as an adult.

If you had told me a few years ago I would be writing my farewell to the Pac-12 on JohnCanzano.com, I would have thought something had gone horribly wrong… and I guess it did. But here I am, so grateful to him for giving me a platform to share these thoughts with you.

In one of my last conversations with the late Bill Walton, he told me the Pac-12 Network saved his life. His spine had failed, he had been fired from every broadcasting job. 

“I had spent four and a half years on the floor. Everything was dark. I had no reason to hope anything would be different. And then out of the blue, Larry Scott calls me and said, ‘Bill, we have an idea.’” 

That idea — a television network that officially goes dark on Sunday — gave so many of us who worked there real purpose, joy, and a community that will live on forever. 

So as sad as it feels to say goodbye, I know it’s just a reminder that the time we spent together really meant something.

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