Canzano: Trail Blazers at it again, or as they say "SPAM"
Record-setting loss sets sobering tone.
I realize everyone wants to fire Chauncey Billups, who coached the Trail Blazers to a historically bad loss in the season opener on Wednesday night. But first, we need to address a deeper issue — the possibility that the franchise that employs him remains infected with a long-standing case of dysfunction.
Paul Allen was one of the wealthiest men in the world, worth more than $20 billion. He lived in an estate on Mercer Island and flew in and out of Portland for games, sometimes using a helicopter.
In 2002-03, Allen’s small-market NBA franchise had the league’s second-highest payroll behind the New York Knicks. It also had secretaries at the practice facility sewing the drapes. That sort of nonsense fostered bad feelings among staffers. It didn’t take long for an acronym to be born at One Center Court — “SPAM.”
It stood for “Spending Paul Allen’s Money.”
Team executives threw lavish office parties on Allen’s dime. They expensed gifts and ran up travel expenses. Why not? Allen owned the world’s largest yacht, a fleet of aircraft, a legendary art collection, villas around the globe, and a submarine. His resources were endless. And so office luncheons and franchise events featured rare cuisine and fun perks. Staffers joked that the Microsoft co-founder could afford it.
“SPAM,” they’d say to each other.
On Wednesday night, the Blazers lost the season opener 139-104 to the Golden State Warriors. The 35-point margin of defeat was the worst opening-night loss in franchise history. I watched it from inside the arena. It was a sobering scene that made all the winning feel so far away. So maybe it was a good thing that Allen, who loved the franchise to his bones, wasn’t around to see it.
What Billups said after the loss: “I didn’t think one guy on our team played well.”
What I heard?
“SPAM.”
Allen died six years ago this month. It’s his billions still fueling the basketball operation. Allen’s estate is funding the $168,822,633 roster payroll. It also pays the salaries of team executives, scouts, sales reps, and the marketing team. Allen is funding the Billups experiment, too, and paying the coaching staff. Until the franchise is sold, it’s forever and always Paul Allen’s money being spent.
His sister, Jody, is the trustee of the estate. On Wednesday, she sat in Paul’s seat on the baseline not far from the Blazers’ bench. General manager Joe Cronin occupied the seat beside her. A couple of seats down was Paul’s former college roommate and snorkel buddy, Bert Kolde. Careful observers may have noted that Kolde wore a pair of Nike sneakers.
A pointless coincidence?
Or is it a sign that the bitter standoff vs. Phil Knight is softening?
As one long-time NBA executive told me after Jody and Bert slammed the door on Knight’s attempt to buy the team: “There’s nothing a billionaire loves more than telling another billionaire to pound sand.”
Knight has high standards, ambition, vision, and a go-for-it mentality. He doesn’t like being played. He’d make a terrific NBA owner for those reasons. The Nike founder never would have stood for the predictably embarrassing on-court performance on Wednesday night. The notion of “tanking” for the potential No. 1 pick from the tip of Game 1 would be unacceptable.
Bert has a shoe basket filled with choices. He wore Nike. Let’s not get carried away with it, though, because Jody wore a pair of Christian Dior sneakers on Wednesday. Her “C’est Dior” low-tops, per the fashion designer’s website, are made from “suede calfskin and mesh.”
Color: “Ecru” (or the color of unbleached linen in France).
Retail price: $1,050.
I saw that and thought: “SPAM.”
In the summer of 2003, Steve Patterson took over as team president. He told me that he had to make an awkward call to Paul Allen that first month. Patterson dreaded the conversation because it involved the kind of surprise a new employee never likes to share with the big boss.
The Blazers were above the luxury tax threshold. Allen was unaware until the call. Patterson told his owner that he needed to write a $20 million check. Allen wasn’t thrilled. But it was the cost of doing business, and he sent the funds. I’ve always wondered how much that call framed the rest of the Patterson era, which was rife with abuses, luxuries, crisis mismanagement, and not enough winning.
If $20 million wasn’t a big deal, what was?
I visited Patterson at the Rose Quarter offices one afternoon a couple of seasons later. Team headquarters had a triangular shape on the upper level. Patterson’s office was at the very end of the hall. He called it: “The Point.”
It was a Friday. I sat and waited for Patterson to arrive. I noticed that there was a cutting board on his desk with cracker crumbs, a knife, and a half-eaten wedge of gourmet cheese on top. Beside it sat an empty bottle of wine, a cloth napkin, and some dirty glasses. That’s just how things were.
I saw it and thought: “SPAM.”
I had the same thought watching the Blazers on Wednesday night.
Some other things:
• Fans had some trouble getting into the arena on opening night. Security lines were long, slow, and managed poorly. Moda Center uses a dual security screening system that requires some fans to go through a second screening process with an X-ray machine. There were complaints, and I noted that some arena seats were empty until mid-way through the first quarter. That needs to be addressed. Maybe just bring back the old metal detectors? It was more efficient.
• Fans watching on local television were frustrated that they couldn’t find the game. Or that broadcast was clunky and had production issues. That also needs to be addressed.
• Joe Cronin sat beside Jody Allen and Bert Kolde, as noted. Is that awkward for a GM when the roster is getting blown off the court? Or did Jody and Bert expect it? The Blazers are young, shorthanded, and not very talented. The Warriors dribbled circles around Portland in the opener.
• Scoot Henderson scored 22 points but was 0-for-5 from three. He scored a flurry of baskets in garbage time. I need Henderson to matter more when the game isn’t out of hand. His +/- in the box score was minus-30.
• Jerami Grant scored 16 points. I’ve always liked his game. Deni Avdija had 15 points and seven rebounds. That was OK, given the circumstances. But as Billups pointed out, nobody played well.
• It’s just one game, right? Sure. There are 81 left in the regular season. A lot could change. Portland will have better nights. I found some of what I saw on Wednesday entertaining. The home team was bad, though. There were some fun moments, mostly provided by the Warriors. It still left me wanting to bring my kids back for a game sometime this season. But I left the arena thinking the Blazers would win 18 games this season. Let’s see how that prediction lands.
• Fearless prediction: Rookie Donovan Clingan (two points in his NBA debut) is going to play a long time in the league and make a lot of money. He’s athletic and long, but he was out of position a few times on defense. He needs coaching and mentorship. Clingan won’t get what he needs from Billups and his staff. It’s not the right kind of staff for a young, talented, raw player.
• Billups is a Hall of Fame player, but he’s not a good coach. Or at least I don’t think so. Nobody can certifiably say either way because no coach on the planet would win with the roster he has available to him. What would Pat Riley do with this roster? Lose. What would Phil Jackson do? Lose. Guess what? Billups is going to lose. I am not wrong about this.
• Terry Stotts, now a Golden State assistant, got a warm ovation from the Moda Center crowd. He’s a terrific offensive coordinator. He’ll make the Warriors better on that end of the court. Clingan would have grown rapidly on the offensive end of the court under Stotts. Just saying.
• Warriors forward Draymond Green got a technical foul. As a friend and careful basketball observer texted me during the fracas: “Some things never change.” Coach Steve Kerr morphed into the role of conflict mediator during the episode. I posted the video. It was an interesting scene.
Later in the game, one on-court official went out of his way to talk 1-on-1 with Green during a time-out. It looked to me like the official had reviewed the play on a monitor and was sharing what he saw with Green. Cooler heads prevailed.
• Anyone notice how much coaching Steph Curry does on the court during games? He’s constantly directing players, adjusting spacing, and telling the ballhandler where the ball needs to go.
• Buddy Hield looks like a nice addition for the Warriors. It’s only one game, but Hield scored 22 points on 8 for 12 shooting from the floor. He did that in just 19 minutes of play and smiled a lot. Golden State will pay Hield $8.8 million this season.
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JC, after the game you asked us to sum it up in three words. The answers that immediately came to my mind:
Why bother watching?
Waste of time
This is sad
The Blazers have always been my first sports love since the early 1970’s. It just angers me how bad and how big of a punch line they have become. It’s just sorry and sad.