One of the hardest things I have ever done was inform a mother he son had passed away from a drunk driver colliding into him.
Kid had just gotten home from a combat tour in Fallujah, Iraq. Mom was ecstatic when he came home. He was on leave for less than two weeks, he was driving home other car ran through a red light three times the speed limit.
His drivers license only had our unit address, so police contacted Camp Pendleton, and they contacted me by 2am, since I was his platoon sergeant. Police wanted his address, but I told them I'll take care of it. Got up into my blues and drove 2 hrs. I can still clearly remember his mother dropping to her knees and her screams.... I stayed with her, but felt so powerless. It was one of the hardest drives out and home I have ever needed to do.
Bless you for that, John. What you did for that family by showing up dressed to the 9’s is forever part of the story of that young devil dog’s life, and always will be recalled by the family. You gave that Marine dignity. You were not powerless at all, you were expressing a sort of agape love and were being obedient in doing so.
Thank you for sharing this difficult experience with all of us JHC. Hat's off to you for choosing the hard road and being there for the mother!!! I have always thought very highly of you and the thoughtful insights you often share before but now I am even more amazed.
This is a very tough loss for so many that did not need to happen. Impaired driving has no place in our society!!!
It broke my heart when I first heard about Khyree’s death, along with his two high school buddies. Three families in unimaginable grief. My neighbors across the street just lost their 15 yr old daughter to a tragic dirt bike accident on a nearby country gravel road. All so senseless, all so tragic. And, of course, there will be more.
What we can do is reach out to those in proximity to us. No words need to be said. Just show up, cry, hug, listen. It’s part of being a member of the human race to grieve with those who grieve. Someday, your turn and my turn will inevitably come to grieve a loss and the hope is others will show up for us, not with cheap slogans or uninvited advice, instead just a simple, “I’m here, you’re not alone.”
This just kicked me in the gut. To see how he was pulling himself up from his difficulties only to have those dreams of his and his family wiped out by the out of control actions of another is difficult to take.
Such a compassionate telling of this heartbreaking story. I wish I could hug his mother and members of the families. Mothers will never stop suffering for their children gone way too soon.
The first thing I thought of was his mother. As a mom of two and nana to two, I would be just devastated. I cannot even imagine the pain one would feel. My heart just aches for his family and the families of his two friends. Lives changed in the blink of a second and some will never be the same again.
As a father of two, G-pa to six, and great-grandpa to five, I know it's not just moms who are devastated when we outlive a child. Or grandchild. I pray I never do.
Once again, John you write a heart wrenching store of a young man taken way before his time. It brought tears to my eyes, thinking of so many young beloved Ducks who were lost so early. We've lost several young men in the rivers around Eugene. It breaks my heart for their Mom's and Dad's, who will have to pickup the pieces with their lives. I'm praying for all of them, as I go to church today.
Very sad...and senseless. I know that Coach KOC at the Vikings, who is a lot like Dan Lanning in that he is a player's coach, is sincere about his sense of loss. By extension, all of us as Minnesota Vikings fans are as well. Khyree did have that big smile. But we never got to know him in Minnesota. Too bad. He seemed like he would be a great addition on and off the field.
So incredibly sad! My prayers are with his family and all the families involved. And with all the friends and football family. I have constantly preached to my 20 year old football player son, “nothing good happens after midnight!” God bless them all! 🙏🙏🙏
Drunk drivers are most definitely ***holes. That’s an understatement. They are selfish, arrogant a**holes. And to be honest, it makes me angry that so many of them survive after killing others. So unfair. Yes, they have to “live with what they did” for the rest of their lives but they are still around…having families, perhaps enjoying success, living life. Their victims’ families enduring the pain of losing a loved one in such a senseless manner because someone made a stupid, selfish choice. RIP Khyree. You deserved better.
While probably not the time for this discussion, I just have to add that there are many things our society could do to reduce drunk driving, if we only had the will. Nuff said.
While I completely agree, there is one caveat... While this girl survived the crash, her life will forever be destroyed.
A joke I sign in kids yearbooks every year is, "Ensure your shoelaces are tied, you'll have less chance trippin' through life"
But the truth is those little mundane things matter... This girl made a horrible choice, over something that seemed mundane at the time, for which I have no tolerance... But she will undoubtedly pay the price as this hangs over anything she ever does. The wake of one bad choice is very wide
As you compassionately said John, Khyree struggled and fell down a few times but kept getting up. It all seemed to come together, then the horrific news from Maryland.
Losing someone young who's got so much life in front of them is always devastating. I was 11 when my 18 year old brother died in an automobile crash.
He had just graduated high school two weeks earlier and had so many dreams and aspirations, all of it gone in a flash.
My mother, who's now 90, has never been the same since the summer of '71. None of us have.
My condolences to the three families whose lives have been shattered. 🙏💔
Dale, my story is similar, but 20 years on. It was an accidental drowning in 1992, I was 20, my older brother 24. We have family group chat every birthday for my brother, and it starts with Mom sending pic of gravestone, cleaned, polished and flowered. The memory of loved ones who depart so young, never goes away in minds of living.
Thank you for a well-written tribute to a young man who had so much potential. May his family, friends, and Oregon fans remember him always as a shining light.
Seems every year a player's brief life is ended. Very sad! It is unusual to not know a friend or family member whose life was cut short. I don't think we are aware of how many people are killed in accidents like this. A couple of years ago while attending a Duck game in Eugene there was an I-5 fatal accident. Traffic backed up for hours and I found an Oregon Highway Patrol website that gave information on accidents. I was astounded after I signed up at the numbers of people that are killed in similar accidents on a daily basis. Maybe kids need this link to wake them up to the dangers of driving and looking out for the other crazy driver that can make you a statistic. Also, nothing good on the highway happens after midnight. The link: https://flashalert.net/news.html?id=1002
Thank you John, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks thinking of three young lives ended in an automobile accident, seems one that should have never happened. Rest in peace gentlemen, prayers and love to all of your families. 🙏🏻💔🙏🏻
One of the hardest things I have ever done was inform a mother he son had passed away from a drunk driver colliding into him.
Kid had just gotten home from a combat tour in Fallujah, Iraq. Mom was ecstatic when he came home. He was on leave for less than two weeks, he was driving home other car ran through a red light three times the speed limit.
His drivers license only had our unit address, so police contacted Camp Pendleton, and they contacted me by 2am, since I was his platoon sergeant. Police wanted his address, but I told them I'll take care of it. Got up into my blues and drove 2 hrs. I can still clearly remember his mother dropping to her knees and her screams.... I stayed with her, but felt so powerless. It was one of the hardest drives out and home I have ever needed to do.
I have zero tolerance for drunk driving...
Thank you 🙏
Bless you for that, John. What you did for that family by showing up dressed to the 9’s is forever part of the story of that young devil dog’s life, and always will be recalled by the family. You gave that Marine dignity. You were not powerless at all, you were expressing a sort of agape love and were being obedient in doing so.
Standup thing to do Sergeant. URaaaah.
👏👏
Thank you for sharing this difficult experience with all of us JHC. Hat's off to you for choosing the hard road and being there for the mother!!! I have always thought very highly of you and the thoughtful insights you often share before but now I am even more amazed.
This is a very tough loss for so many that did not need to happen. Impaired driving has no place in our society!!!
ZERO TOLERANCE
Thankful for your service. Especially when you give so selflessly to those entrusted to your care.
It broke my heart when I first heard about Khyree’s death, along with his two high school buddies. Three families in unimaginable grief. My neighbors across the street just lost their 15 yr old daughter to a tragic dirt bike accident on a nearby country gravel road. All so senseless, all so tragic. And, of course, there will be more.
What we can do is reach out to those in proximity to us. No words need to be said. Just show up, cry, hug, listen. It’s part of being a member of the human race to grieve with those who grieve. Someday, your turn and my turn will inevitably come to grieve a loss and the hope is others will show up for us, not with cheap slogans or uninvited advice, instead just a simple, “I’m here, you’re not alone.”
Thank you 🙏
This is a terrible story to tell and to read and happens entirely too many times. As so often the innocent suffer and the guilty live.
May they rest in peace. Condolences to the families of all involved.
Thanks for being here Steve.
For sure, John
This just kicked me in the gut. To see how he was pulling himself up from his difficulties only to have those dreams of his and his family wiped out by the out of control actions of another is difficult to take.
Such a compassionate telling of this heartbreaking story. I wish I could hug his mother and members of the families. Mothers will never stop suffering for their children gone way too soon.
The first thing I thought of was his mother. As a mom of two and nana to two, I would be just devastated. I cannot even imagine the pain one would feel. My heart just aches for his family and the families of his two friends. Lives changed in the blink of a second and some will never be the same again.
Thank you
As a father of two, G-pa to six, and great-grandpa to five, I know it's not just moms who are devastated when we outlive a child. Or grandchild. I pray I never do.
Amen
Thanks 🙏
Once again, John you write a heart wrenching store of a young man taken way before his time. It brought tears to my eyes, thinking of so many young beloved Ducks who were lost so early. We've lost several young men in the rivers around Eugene. It breaks my heart for their Mom's and Dad's, who will have to pickup the pieces with their lives. I'm praying for all of them, as I go to church today.
Thanks 🙏
Very sad...and senseless. I know that Coach KOC at the Vikings, who is a lot like Dan Lanning in that he is a player's coach, is sincere about his sense of loss. By extension, all of us as Minnesota Vikings fans are as well. Khyree did have that big smile. But we never got to know him in Minnesota. Too bad. He seemed like he would be a great addition on and off the field.
Was a terrific story… overcame so much.
It’s a heartbreaking story. Condolences to his family and extended family
My heart is broken for them all.
So incredibly sad! My prayers are with his family and all the families involved. And with all the friends and football family. I have constantly preached to my 20 year old football player son, “nothing good happens after midnight!” God bless them all! 🙏🙏🙏
God bless…
Very true. Words to live by, Sally.
Drunk drivers are most definitely ***holes. That’s an understatement. They are selfish, arrogant a**holes. And to be honest, it makes me angry that so many of them survive after killing others. So unfair. Yes, they have to “live with what they did” for the rest of their lives but they are still around…having families, perhaps enjoying success, living life. Their victims’ families enduring the pain of losing a loved one in such a senseless manner because someone made a stupid, selfish choice. RIP Khyree. You deserved better.
While probably not the time for this discussion, I just have to add that there are many things our society could do to reduce drunk driving, if we only had the will. Nuff said.
So painful
While I completely agree, there is one caveat... While this girl survived the crash, her life will forever be destroyed.
A joke I sign in kids yearbooks every year is, "Ensure your shoelaces are tied, you'll have less chance trippin' through life"
But the truth is those little mundane things matter... This girl made a horrible choice, over something that seemed mundane at the time, for which I have no tolerance... But she will undoubtedly pay the price as this hangs over anything she ever does. The wake of one bad choice is very wide
Truth
So sad.
As you compassionately said John, Khyree struggled and fell down a few times but kept getting up. It all seemed to come together, then the horrific news from Maryland.
Losing someone young who's got so much life in front of them is always devastating. I was 11 when my 18 year old brother died in an automobile crash.
He had just graduated high school two weeks earlier and had so many dreams and aspirations, all of it gone in a flash.
My mother, who's now 90, has never been the same since the summer of '71. None of us have.
My condolences to the three families whose lives have been shattered. 🙏💔
Dale, my story is similar, but 20 years on. It was an accidental drowning in 1992, I was 20, my older brother 24. We have family group chat every birthday for my brother, and it starts with Mom sending pic of gravestone, cleaned, polished and flowered. The memory of loved ones who depart so young, never goes away in minds of living.
Thank you for sharing this
Thank you Dale for sharing this 🙏
Lifting all the families up in prayer
🙏
Thank you for a well-written tribute to a young man who had so much potential. May his family, friends, and Oregon fans remember him always as a shining light.
Thanks Cindee
Seems every year a player's brief life is ended. Very sad! It is unusual to not know a friend or family member whose life was cut short. I don't think we are aware of how many people are killed in accidents like this. A couple of years ago while attending a Duck game in Eugene there was an I-5 fatal accident. Traffic backed up for hours and I found an Oregon Highway Patrol website that gave information on accidents. I was astounded after I signed up at the numbers of people that are killed in similar accidents on a daily basis. Maybe kids need this link to wake them up to the dangers of driving and looking out for the other crazy driver that can make you a statistic. Also, nothing good on the highway happens after midnight. The link: https://flashalert.net/news.html?id=1002
Thank you John, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks thinking of three young lives ended in an automobile accident, seems one that should have never happened. Rest in peace gentlemen, prayers and love to all of your families. 🙏🏻💔🙏🏻
Thank you Judy
💔😪
Thank you
So very, very sad. Our thoughts and prayers are with their families. Shows us how precious life is.
🙏