This story makes my blood boil. Brinley: you belong in sports.
As a 7-footer, I was always massively tall for my age. I also sometimes had to deal with ugly accusations like this...when I was just trying to be a part of the team with my friends.
Why is it we terach our kids to respect difference, except when it comes to sport? Kids who are different belong in sports too. Size differences, ability differences, gender differences - all of those things is what makes youth sports great. Shameful behavior from these coaches.
In 7th grade I was about 80lbs. I'm now a full-grown adult at 180lbs, but small for my age, I was either 12 or 13 I can't recall. The pitcher then was probably double my weight at the time. A big (big) kid -- he went on to captain the Notre Dame football team. I was nailed by a pitch in my upper leg by him that resulted in a massive bruise. That was the end of my baseball playing days.
They say a fish rots from the head. We used to be an aspirational country. Now we focus on, and more importantly, legitimize, grievance. Centers of accomplishment and learning are being attacked. We are no longer our brother's keeper, especially if they are poor or gender different. And the ugly stain of nativism, deporting people who are diverse, is tearing at the fabric of what made this country great. This isn't about politics. It cuts deeper to the unleashing of our darker impulses over out better angels. Worst of all, this cancer has metastasized to our children by the example of adults breaching their sacred duty to be good examples.
I know of no cure for this as long as good people remain silent and others put personal gain ahead of societal obligation. My heart goes out to Brinley, and to all the others who are victims of Grievance America.
While I never coached, I do have kids and grandkids, and officiated sports in Eugene from 1978 to 1991, youth sports through college, baseball/softball/basketball/soccer; back when sanity and even compromise and civility were the order of the day in federal government. And even then parents could be an embarrassment at their kids' games, though coaches less so.
Today we have a "leader" who spends much of his time insulting others. The national "dialogue" is consistently nasty and divisive. It is a wonder ANYONE is willing to officiate sports.
Youth sports should be about character and camaraderie and commitment--and "getting them to want to come back tomorrow." I remember, and applauded, the youth soccer league many years ago that had a "parents may not open their mouths" day. Took the kids a few minutes to get used to it, then they had a wonderful experience...just playing the games, and enjoying each other.
I'm pleased to see there are consequences to these coaches behaving so badly. IMO, we need more of this across all areas of our society to upright our culture again.
Michael, there is zero reason to bring up Trump on this blog. Stop it already? We get enough of the orange man hate in virtually all other media. I do hope your prescription prices reduce though.
Exactly. It ain't politics it's parents. Some of the worst behavior I've seen from parents were in solidly blue areas of Portland Metro. Parents, even those who don't become coaches, seem to act out when their kids are involved. Frustration over their own inadequacies?
Respectfully, children model parents' behavior, and parents model "leaders" behavior. The comment is absolutely apt, and I stand by it. We (theoretically) choose the leaders as people we want our children to aspire to. Washington, Lincoln, FDR, JFK...it is what we learned in school. Inappropriate, acting-out, negative behavior doesn't come from whole cloth--we behave as those we "admire" behave.
Michael, you can stand by it BUT you should also be calling out leaders across the board. You know, the ones who like to call certain people Nazis, facists, Hitler. Please, please keep the politics to political oriented media. Leave it out of sports.
Also adults should know better than to be influenced by the behaviors of other adults.
Yes, adults "should know better," but we're human. I stand by my belief. The People chose a leader who spent many years seeming to be ecstatic about firing people. I've had to do it a few times, and it was painful and cost me sleep. Anyone with an ounce of compassion would find taking jobs away from people painful, and to not--and appear to thoroughly enjoy humiliating people in front of millions of viewers--would seem to demonstrate a lack of empathy and compassion.
The coach and parents who emotionally assaulted a 10 year-old girl might seem to be lacking in those things. The connection, to those who pay attention and look for actual explanations for behavior, seems apparent.
One name, one face, pervades America today, including in sports. "Leaving it out" seems a much larger issue than a guy in a chat.
I, for one, would happily go back several decades to "kinder and gentler," but here we are.
When I first read the article online the heartbreak of this young girl was gut wrenching. It is difficult and devastating to imagine what she and her team and family were experiencing due to the poor actions of the opposing assistant coaches. They were completely out of line and had no understanding of sportsmanship. This was just a young girl. Would they have the courage to act like this in an adult league. Each of them should be banned from having any kind of participation in youth sports.
We're keeping track of every missed swing and every error at every level of play these days. The Gamechanger app, featured in this post, is part of the problem. You wanna help keep youth sports in perspective? Put your phone away. Quit tracking your middle school kid's every twitch between the lines.
I 100% support getting back to basics. Let's let kids be kids and not content to be fed into our cloud overlords.
“Your job is to make them want to come back the next day.” EXACTLY!!!
At 10 y/o I taught myself to switch hit (baseball). The next year, playing in the "top" league, I hit a home run from both sides of the plate. Even then (1966) I had parents yelling that I should not be "allowed" to play with the same team. Luckily, a bunch of parents who had known me for over 5 years came to my aid. My folks were flabbergasted..Crazy...
Competitive travel ball has ruined youth sports. Just the fact that this team had traveled down the coast for a tournament really sets the facts in order. Paid coaches who get paid by crazy parents who demand that their kids play and win so that the parents may live life vicariously through their children. It is all very sad.
I grew up in a home of competitive athletes. All three of us had success at the high school level and one of us (not me!) well beyond that. And I think what impresses me most about my mom and dad is that going to the game was always the priority. And nothing bad was ever said about other players or coaches at the field (I do remember some humorous conversations during the drive home when I was in high school). If more parents could remember that just because their son/daughter has played travel ball all the way through middle school doesn't mean they are going pro it would probably make the world a better place.
Retirement has allowed me the opportunity to become the designated sports chauffeur for my son’s kids. I have seen more practices, golf matches, and softball games in the past couple years than I have ever seen in my entire life.
I was recently in Seaside for my granddaughter’s softball tournament and we played the Fish. No better team, coaching staff, and support family anywhere!!
We have to police ourselves, up to cutting ‘em loose, if necessary
Amen, David. Adults who act this way steal enjoyment and fulfillment from kids. No matter where we are on any spectrum, we are responsible for our behavior and what comes out of our mouths. Kids deserve to learn and have fun with our help and leadership—not by intimidation and selfish interference.
As a former coach I can attest. Ugly parents in Little League are not new. Many parents and coaches are living their past dreams thru their kids. And so they react like children when something doesn’t go their way. Sad. But not new
Thank you for speaking on behalf of this and bringing light to it!!! Brinley is an amazing kid and her Momma has taught her well on and off the field!!! She’s gonna be ok!!! 👌
I referee youth indoor soccer (I’ve refereed your daughter a few times early in the morning). One time I was refereeing a U11 girls’ game, the best player had a short haircut. The head coach of the opponent kept insinuating that the player was a boy and told me I should remove them from play because they were “illegal”. At halftime, the coach and assistant came and confronted me, the coach yelling loudly that I needed to check the player’s gender. I asked how he proposed that I perform this gender check. The head coach continued to scream at me. I’m older, 6’4”, and big, so this guy didn’t intimidate me, but the equation is often different. The assistant coach eventually grasped the absurdity of the request. I convinced him that he could take it up with the facility/league, but the player was cleared to play in the game, and I wouldn’t entertain any further conversation. The coach didn’t say anything else during the game, but instructed his team not to shake hands after the game. I’m interested in how this intersects with the whole trans issue in sports. If you ever want to see a large number of (adult) trans athletes happily coexisting with cisgender peers, there’s plenty of that in the Portland soccer community.
Biological boys should not be playing any sport with biological girls unless the league is coed. This is common sense that we've had in our society for eons of time. Portland and other blue metro communities are crazy to allow and normalize this. The road to bad places are paved with good intentions.
I’m sorry if I was unclear. I believe the 11-year-old in my story was a girl, I was unwilling to look into their shorts to confirm my suspicions and rebut the screaming coach, never mind the legal implications; that’s not in the purview of the referee at any level. My musing about trans athletes was just that, I have no experience with trans athletes in youth sports, my experience with trans athletes is with consenting adults who sign up and pay for the privilege, and who cares?
Appreciate that you coach, Jevan. I've played indoor soccer many times and that sport is an awesome cardio workout. Sorry if my comment was over the top.
This story makes my blood boil. Brinley: you belong in sports.
As a 7-footer, I was always massively tall for my age. I also sometimes had to deal with ugly accusations like this...when I was just trying to be a part of the team with my friends.
Why is it we terach our kids to respect difference, except when it comes to sport? Kids who are different belong in sports too. Size differences, ability differences, gender differences - all of those things is what makes youth sports great. Shameful behavior from these coaches.
In 7th grade I was about 80lbs. I'm now a full-grown adult at 180lbs, but small for my age, I was either 12 or 13 I can't recall. The pitcher then was probably double my weight at the time. A big (big) kid -- he went on to captain the Notre Dame football team. I was nailed by a pitch in my upper leg by him that resulted in a massive bruise. That was the end of my baseball playing days.
They say a fish rots from the head. We used to be an aspirational country. Now we focus on, and more importantly, legitimize, grievance. Centers of accomplishment and learning are being attacked. We are no longer our brother's keeper, especially if they are poor or gender different. And the ugly stain of nativism, deporting people who are diverse, is tearing at the fabric of what made this country great. This isn't about politics. It cuts deeper to the unleashing of our darker impulses over out better angels. Worst of all, this cancer has metastasized to our children by the example of adults breaching their sacred duty to be good examples.
I know of no cure for this as long as good people remain silent and others put personal gain ahead of societal obligation. My heart goes out to Brinley, and to all the others who are victims of Grievance America.
While I never coached, I do have kids and grandkids, and officiated sports in Eugene from 1978 to 1991, youth sports through college, baseball/softball/basketball/soccer; back when sanity and even compromise and civility were the order of the day in federal government. And even then parents could be an embarrassment at their kids' games, though coaches less so.
Today we have a "leader" who spends much of his time insulting others. The national "dialogue" is consistently nasty and divisive. It is a wonder ANYONE is willing to officiate sports.
Youth sports should be about character and camaraderie and commitment--and "getting them to want to come back tomorrow." I remember, and applauded, the youth soccer league many years ago that had a "parents may not open their mouths" day. Took the kids a few minutes to get used to it, then they had a wonderful experience...just playing the games, and enjoying each other.
My thoughts exactly. Civility has gone out the window.
So strange that millions who claim to be of a religion that preaches the Golden Rule seem to be so willing to ignore it.
Micheal, also no need to use this event as a reason to bash on Christianity. You have some axes to grind it seems but maybe this isn't the best place?
I'm pleased to see there are consequences to these coaches behaving so badly. IMO, we need more of this across all areas of our society to upright our culture again.
Michael, there is zero reason to bring up Trump on this blog. Stop it already? We get enough of the orange man hate in virtually all other media. I do hope your prescription prices reduce though.
Exactly. It ain't politics it's parents. Some of the worst behavior I've seen from parents were in solidly blue areas of Portland Metro. Parents, even those who don't become coaches, seem to act out when their kids are involved. Frustration over their own inadequacies?
Respectfully, children model parents' behavior, and parents model "leaders" behavior. The comment is absolutely apt, and I stand by it. We (theoretically) choose the leaders as people we want our children to aspire to. Washington, Lincoln, FDR, JFK...it is what we learned in school. Inappropriate, acting-out, negative behavior doesn't come from whole cloth--we behave as those we "admire" behave.
Michael, you can stand by it BUT you should also be calling out leaders across the board. You know, the ones who like to call certain people Nazis, facists, Hitler. Please, please keep the politics to political oriented media. Leave it out of sports.
Also adults should know better than to be influenced by the behaviors of other adults.
Yes, adults "should know better," but we're human. I stand by my belief. The People chose a leader who spent many years seeming to be ecstatic about firing people. I've had to do it a few times, and it was painful and cost me sleep. Anyone with an ounce of compassion would find taking jobs away from people painful, and to not--and appear to thoroughly enjoy humiliating people in front of millions of viewers--would seem to demonstrate a lack of empathy and compassion.
The coach and parents who emotionally assaulted a 10 year-old girl might seem to be lacking in those things. The connection, to those who pay attention and look for actual explanations for behavior, seems apparent.
One name, one face, pervades America today, including in sports. "Leaving it out" seems a much larger issue than a guy in a chat.
I, for one, would happily go back several decades to "kinder and gentler," but here we are.
“Then he told me, “Your job is to make them want to come back the next day.”
Even an idiot should understand that”
Focus people, focus
Thanks, John for bringing this incident up.
When I first read the article online the heartbreak of this young girl was gut wrenching. It is difficult and devastating to imagine what she and her team and family were experiencing due to the poor actions of the opposing assistant coaches. They were completely out of line and had no understanding of sportsmanship. This was just a young girl. Would they have the courage to act like this in an adult league. Each of them should be banned from having any kind of participation in youth sports.
We're keeping track of every missed swing and every error at every level of play these days. The Gamechanger app, featured in this post, is part of the problem. You wanna help keep youth sports in perspective? Put your phone away. Quit tracking your middle school kid's every twitch between the lines.
I 100% support getting back to basics. Let's let kids be kids and not content to be fed into our cloud overlords.
“Your job is to make them want to come back the next day.” EXACTLY!!!
At 10 y/o I taught myself to switch hit (baseball). The next year, playing in the "top" league, I hit a home run from both sides of the plate. Even then (1966) I had parents yelling that I should not be "allowed" to play with the same team. Luckily, a bunch of parents who had known me for over 5 years came to my aid. My folks were flabbergasted..Crazy...
Competitive travel ball has ruined youth sports. Just the fact that this team had traveled down the coast for a tournament really sets the facts in order. Paid coaches who get paid by crazy parents who demand that their kids play and win so that the parents may live life vicariously through their children. It is all very sad.
I grew up in a home of competitive athletes. All three of us had success at the high school level and one of us (not me!) well beyond that. And I think what impresses me most about my mom and dad is that going to the game was always the priority. And nothing bad was ever said about other players or coaches at the field (I do remember some humorous conversations during the drive home when I was in high school). If more parents could remember that just because their son/daughter has played travel ball all the way through middle school doesn't mean they are going pro it would probably make the world a better place.
amen
Retirement has allowed me the opportunity to become the designated sports chauffeur for my son’s kids. I have seen more practices, golf matches, and softball games in the past couple years than I have ever seen in my entire life.
I was recently in Seaside for my granddaughter’s softball tournament and we played the Fish. No better team, coaching staff, and support family anywhere!!
We have to police ourselves, up to cutting ‘em loose, if necessary
It is truly all about the kids
Amen, David. Adults who act this way steal enjoyment and fulfillment from kids. No matter where we are on any spectrum, we are responsible for our behavior and what comes out of our mouths. Kids deserve to learn and have fun with our help and leadership—not by intimidation and selfish interference.
As a former coach I can attest. Ugly parents in Little League are not new. Many parents and coaches are living their past dreams thru their kids. And so they react like children when something doesn’t go their way. Sad. But not new
Thank you for speaking on behalf of this and bringing light to it!!! Brinley is an amazing kid and her Momma has taught her well on and off the field!!! She’s gonna be ok!!! 👌
I referee youth indoor soccer (I’ve refereed your daughter a few times early in the morning). One time I was refereeing a U11 girls’ game, the best player had a short haircut. The head coach of the opponent kept insinuating that the player was a boy and told me I should remove them from play because they were “illegal”. At halftime, the coach and assistant came and confronted me, the coach yelling loudly that I needed to check the player’s gender. I asked how he proposed that I perform this gender check. The head coach continued to scream at me. I’m older, 6’4”, and big, so this guy didn’t intimidate me, but the equation is often different. The assistant coach eventually grasped the absurdity of the request. I convinced him that he could take it up with the facility/league, but the player was cleared to play in the game, and I wouldn’t entertain any further conversation. The coach didn’t say anything else during the game, but instructed his team not to shake hands after the game. I’m interested in how this intersects with the whole trans issue in sports. If you ever want to see a large number of (adult) trans athletes happily coexisting with cisgender peers, there’s plenty of that in the Portland soccer community.
Biological boys should not be playing any sport with biological girls unless the league is coed. This is common sense that we've had in our society for eons of time. Portland and other blue metro communities are crazy to allow and normalize this. The road to bad places are paved with good intentions.
I’m sorry if I was unclear. I believe the 11-year-old in my story was a girl, I was unwilling to look into their shorts to confirm my suspicions and rebut the screaming coach, never mind the legal implications; that’s not in the purview of the referee at any level. My musing about trans athletes was just that, I have no experience with trans athletes in youth sports, my experience with trans athletes is with consenting adults who sign up and pay for the privilege, and who cares?
Appreciate that you coach, Jevan. I've played indoor soccer many times and that sport is an awesome cardio workout. Sorry if my comment was over the top.
You are not getting older, you are simply getting better with each new article.
Readers should be better fans after reading this. Sadly those idiot coaches are not embarrassed by their actions.
In the perfect world parents would pull their kids off the team telling the world they do not want their kids playing for these two idiots.
Idiots seem to surround us in today’s world.
about the shortage of officials at all youth levels? - this is exactly why!! Well said, John.
Does St. Helens lead the state in per capita dysfunction? Sheesh.
Thank you for the article John, it’s a wake up call to coaches and parents.
I miss Bobby D, he was a champion for Oregon State. What great advice he gave you.